How To Date Jewish, And Be Good At It. Really, Really, Good.

So, you want to date, mate, and live a good life? How do we do that, you ask?…With a goal in mind.
No, not to get laid. Not this time. Not now, not yet. Hold on there cowboy and cowgirl, that all comes later. Much later. This article is for those of you who are serious about dating, really serious, and who are truly interested in finding a partner. Easier said than done yes, so here are some guidelines from a Jewish mother who dated a lot back in the day, and found her beschert. There are rules of engagement though. And just so we’re clear,  a successful  date doesn’t mean you’ve scored. To have a successful date, and to be successful, means one thing, and one thing only; That you’ve been honest and true to yourself, because the only behaviour and choices we have control over, are our own. That,  is a successful date, and that is the place where you’ll find you had the best time, because, you, were you, the real you, and not the “you” you think the other person wants, or the you you’re afraid to be. That person always catches up with you and wrecks everything.

So, whether you’re looking for love, or looking for love again, here are 5 simple tips for dating jewish, and being really, really good at it. And remember the goal….to connect, and have a good time. No connection? Meh! It’s an open door for you to find the right. Just have fun with it and go with the flow. Here we go….

1. Know Who You Are. This may sound silly, but if you have no idea about who you are, what you’re about, and feel comfortable with yourself. Look in the mirror–this is a technique I often suggest to my clients to do if they’re feeling “lost”, or want to make some changes. This exercise is best done at night, when your defences are down, and you’re more relaxed. Spend a few minutes with  yourself just looking. And ladies, make sure the make-up is off. You must be looking at, and thinking about, the real you.

2. Know your Negotiables and Non-Negotiables. We all have them. Things that we’re willing to put up with and make concessions for, and things we’re not willing to put up. This exercise can be invaluable to everything you do in your life, but especially so when dating, because the worst thing is time-wasting when you’re looking for quality people to spend valuable time with.

3. Commit To The Commitment. This relates to #2. It’s not enough making a resolution or deciding upon something if you don’t make a concerted verbal and mental commitment to stick to your values, or your negotiables and non-negotiables. This may be the make-or-break part of your personality that will keep you going back to the wrong person. Stick to your guns. You can do it, if you really want to.

4. Leave Your Ego At Home.  Forget leaving it at the door–that’s still too close. Your date may be able to detect your ego before you finish your first sentence, and then the date’s over before it even began. You don’t need to impress anyone. This is why so many relationships end within the first year…because many  people put on airs, pretend to more than they are, and inflate themselves to look better or more desirable. That’s when the “honeymoon period” becomes a reality and you realize that your sweetie is really a nightmare in disguise. I’m not saying don’t look good. Quite the contrary. You may just want want to keep “Slick” at home.

5. Keep Your Expectations In Check. Go in committed to having a good time with you, and leave feeling good about yourself! We, ourselves, are the only ones responsible for our own happiness. No one else. So have a good time, be yourself, and everything else is icing on the cake.

6. Don’t Talk About Yourself Unless Asked. We’re all good talkers. Who doesn’t like talking about themselves? But when we’re dating, especially when it’s new, the very last thing the other person wants is to hear an endless stream of garble about themselves. When we’re interested in the other person, the way we show that is by being curious, asking questions, and showing interest. If you find yourself sitting across the table from someone speaking endlessly about themselves, ask yourself, how interested in me are they, as it would otherwise seem that they’re more interested in themselves and making themselves feel good. (That being the case, go talk to the mirror.)

7. Listen. Listening and hearing are different. We hear many things around us, but are we listening? Being an active listener means acknowledging and validating, and participating in the conversation. It’s a two-way street baby, so make sure you’re present, participating, and listening well.

8. There Are No Rules. Bottom line is, even the game players, at the end of the day, when they’re looking for the “right” person, (and not even necessarily Mrs. Right), want to call you. And they sit there too, chomping at the bit, waiting for the right time to call, following some silly code of rules. Well, who the heck made up those rules anyway. If they’re interested in you, he or she will be happy you called, period. So why wait. The true acid test in that is this–If you call sooner then later, and there’s no response in return, it’s all good, because the interest wasn’t there anyway. You’ve just found out sooner than later and that, is a gift, because now you can move on without wasting any un-due time.

Dating doesn’t have to be a game. That’s see-through, and most of us can see through that crap quick. Dating can be fun, as long as you go into it with a healthy outlook and a positive perspective.

Happy Dating!!!

Courageous Vulnerability

The key to a lasting relationship is finding a partner with who you fulfill a reciprocal dynamic of empowerment. Such a relationship will innately render each more authentic and better able to access their idealized self because they are cast in the supportive shadow of their partner’s complimentary attributes and trust.

Ultimately, what you are achieving in a fulfilling relationship is someone with who you can entrust the essence of your truest self. This is someone who will keep you honest and aligned with the trajectory of a future of fulfilled potentials. Secured in the magnitude of their loyalty and care, you bask in the sovereign glow of being able to safely grow more whole. This partner is someone that you can confide in with a courageous vulnerability. Your partner becomes your sacred place where you turn to find shelter and commune. In the the temple of your partner’s heart you immerse yourself each day in the rejuvenating mystique of your most vulnerable self.


– ❤ Is

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“True love Is loving yourself enough to choose to learn all your lessons through intimacy.”

“True love Is loving yourself enough to choose to learn all your lessons through intimacy.”

A common theme found throughout the world’s spiritual traditions is the depiction of the soul as being limited and obscured by the contrasting conditions of material living. Classical texts depict a soul as a lens of creative vitality and all of one’s life experiences aimed at helping to help polish that lens into greater clarity. As the soul is perfected it actively projects the benevolent light driving all of existence.

On a personal level, this means that there are parts of your soul’s benevolence that realized, and it is through this perspective that you commune with the Divine. However, their are latent aspects of your soul that remain shrouded in mystique. It is these unrealized aspects of your soul’s benevolence that you have yet to fully grasp. To the degree that you to not pull back the curtain on the greater benevolence of the latent aspects of your soul is the degree that its repressed momentum arises chaotically and pulls you down. The path of spiritual emergence is designed to better connect the full circuitry of your soul’s benevolence, and as you do so you summon person, inter-personal and societal solutions for greater harmony. This is why the classical mystics describe that by polishing the lens of your soul’s greater benevolence you grow to better project the fullness of divinity and resuscitate lost potentials. From this perspective, all of one’s life’s journey is designed to one way or another, help coax one towards uncovering and exuding a greater capacity of their soul’s light.

While navigating your life’s winding journey, you confront many signposts in the form of friends, family and relationships that direct you into greater accord with your soul’s authenticity. Some of these relationships are intended to attract you closer to your soul’s truth, and other relationships are aimed atto repelling you into the right direction, as if intimating; “you are supposed to be different and are not supposed to be like me.”

Still, from an eternal perspective; all relationships are orchestrating a greater benevolence by helping to amplify a the fullness of their soul’s creative vitality.

A soulmate relationship is a powerful “signpost” relationship for dedicated self-discovery and spiritual realization. Each partner serves as an powerful signpost for the other. Each companion summons a greater dawning of their partner’s latent spiritual potentials. Each one modelling aspects of unrealized benevolence in their partner’s soul. In tandem such nurturing fosters greater harmony between them, while converging with the greater spirit of their unrealized souls.

The core idea here being that a soulmate, can inherently by virtue of their unique set of core spiritual attributes trigger within their partner a greater embrace of latent spiritual qualities.

Definition: A true soulmate relationship is one of mutual dedication and vulnerable intimacy, where each partner supports the other on their journey of self-discover in ways that lead to inner tranquility, and a more fulfilling life.

 The “popular” notion of a soulmate as a dynamic where one partner simply completes another is a dubious notion. On many fronts this misguided understanding leads to destruction and apathy. At core, it places unhealthy emphasis on disempowering passivity that obscures the confines of personal responsibility. True spirituality places each individual at the fulcrum of their own spiritual trajectory and emergence. It requires authentic dedication and passionate self discovery.  Essentially, it is always spiritually unhealthy to place the responsibility of your own inner happiness and spiritual development on another.

Note: The core rule for all spiritual growth is that the individual is the sole arbiter of their own happiness. 

An authentic soulmate relationship is one where each partner models for the other aspects of the other’s truth that has long been repressed or untapped. It is a relationship that over the course of time inspires each to reclaim the fullness of their spiritual selves, so that as a couple they may together create a life with greater balance and authenticity. A true soulmate relationship is never a quick-fix to inner fulfillment. It can never support delegating the responsibility to your authentic discovery to another. A soulmate will not complete you, rather it will provide you with necessary conditions of security and courage to fearlessly dedicate to attending to the inner discovery that leads to lasting personal and spiritual emergence. It is a profoundly synergistic partnership where, like timeless dancers, devoted lovers work in tandem at ripening each other into lasting fulfillment.

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